The Magic Hour
A 90 minute info-packed, interactive workshop to help parents restore and revitalize their kid-free time.
Get instant access to the workshop so you can watch tonight after the kids go to bed!
Tell me if this sounds familiar…
Evenings feel like organized chaos. After getting home from work and school, you’ve somehow got to get in homework, dinner, baths and getting the kids to bed. By the time they are asleep, you collapse on the couch.
You and your partner end up scrolling through social media on opposite sides of the couch, half watching something on tv until you decide it’s time to head to bed yourself.
No, I haven’t been tapping into your home security camera feed. This is just what post-bedtime kid-free time looks like for so many of the couples I work with. And it is a real missed opportunity for connection.
The problem is, many of us struggle to know how to spend this time effectively. At the end of the day, we are so spent - physically and emotionally - that planning something to do with your partner feels like just one more thing.
This comes down to a few key struggles.
We don’t know exactly which needs to try to meet during this kid-free time: Connect with our partner? Alone time? Time with a friend? Catch up on much-needed sleep?
Our partner’s needs are different than ours. Usually this looks like one of us wanting more time alone (or time for sleep) and the other wanting more time together. Both are valid, but we don’t know how to balance the two needs.
When we do decide on having couple time, we don’t know the best way to spend it. Engage in meaningful conversation? A shared activity? Relaxing/vegging ? Having sex?
No matter how we spend it, our couple time doesn’t feel as connecting as we would like for it to be.
Or we waste the evening by not making a plan ahead of time. We end up scrolling on our phones or watching something boring on TV.
You know your kid-free time is so important.
But you don’t know how to maximize it.
What if you and your partner…
Knew exactly what you each needed at the end of the day, even (and especially) if it’s not the same.
Could openly talk about those needs (even if they are different!) and help each other meet them.
Knew exactly what to do during that time, so it didn’t feel wasted but instead felt more connecting and satisfying.
Hi! I’m Abby.
I’m a licensed couples therapist and relationship coach.
My husband and I have been happily married for 19 years. And for 10 of those years, we’ve been parents.
So for 10 years we have been refining our own Magic Hour. In the early years, all we could do was protect the time: not let other things like emails, phones, chores, and other un-fun plans invade our precious time at night. As our kids got a little older and we got a little savvier, we moved from merely protecting to…relishing.
We got good at figuring out what brings us - individually and relationally - the most joy. The most connection. The most satisfaction in these 1-2 hours each night.
I know this might sound a little dramatic. But I am being totally genuine when I say that the way that we have prioritized and nurtured our time at night is one of the most important things we have done for ourselves and for our relationship.
And I want to help you do this too.
I want you and your partner to dig deep, get honest, and figure out: what do you need during kid-free time to feel joy, connection, and relaxation so that you can wake up the next day and do it all over again?
“I have learned tangible tools that help me communicate better, ask for what I want, and feel more connected in my relationship.” -Jen
Are you ready to create your own Magic Hour?
In this workshop, you and your partner will explore these 3 areas:
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Why is regular kid-free time so important for couples to have?
We’ll get started by exploring why this is so crucial for you individually and relationally at this stage in your life as parents. And for those of you who don’t currently have a Magic Hour, we will talk about ways that you can work towards creating one. Even in busy households with young kids, there are really practical things you can do to create predictable kid-free time for you to enjoy most nights.
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What are my needs and my partner's needs for kid-free time?
In this section of the workshop, you’ll dig into specifically what you both need. Alone time? Couple time? Social/friend time? Sleep? I’ll give you tools for how to identify what your individual needs are, plus how to compare it to what you are currently getting. You and your partner will get time to talk privately (with cameras off) about your needs and get guidance from me about how to discuss and hold steady emotionally if your needs are different.
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How can we make Couple time more connecting?
In this last section of the workshop, we will zero in on your time with each other as a couple. You’ll explore what kinds of activities help you both feel more connected and what you can do during those activities to increase closeness, intimacy, warmth, and affection. You’ll get private time again (with cameras off) to talk through the options and begin to make a plan together.
You’ll walk away from the workshop with not only a realistic, actionable plan you can implement right away.
But you’ll also have a deeper understanding of yourself (and your partner!) and what you both need to feel good in this relationship.
You might be wondering...
Is this workshop only for couples to do together? What if my partner can’t or won’t watch it with me?
No problem! This workshop is ideal for couples to do together, but you’ll still find it useful if you do it on your own and share later with your partner.
If you want to ask your partner to watch with you but are not sure how to ask, you might try something like this:
“Hey babe, I know we’ve been struggling lately to feel connected and balance all of our needs at night. I found a workshop that I think would be really helpful. Would you be willing to watch it with me?”
Other FAQs
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Great question. The principles and skills learned in this workshop can apply to any kid-free time you might have during the week. The hour after kids go to bed is the most common, but any amount of time that you and your partner have for yourselves is important and can be improved.
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The workshop is divided into three sections:
Learning (where I’ll teach you the most important info you need to create or improve your Magic Hour)
Processing (you and your partner will turn off your cameras and audio and will have private time to discuss that section of the workshop. you’ll be given prompts to guide your discussion. I’ll be available if you need any help!
Reflecting (where we’ll discuss the topic as a group and you’ll have an opportunity to ask questions or share your reflections.
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No problem! You can both log on with the link you’ll get in your Welcome email. You can take notes and compare afterward, or if you’d like it could be fun to watch it together over zoom!
